I often create imaginary scenarios in my mind. These things come from nowhere ~ I might hear a phrase on the radio and suddenly it becomes a fully-fledged story in my head, except there's rarely a good plot or resolution. I just 'see' a conversation in my mind's eye. When we got this week's assignment on conflict resolution, the same thing happened:
“John, would you meet me in my office in ten minutes, please?”
I’m walking back to my office along polished hallways. John Smith has worked for the company for two years, and I imagine he has a darling wife at home and a baby, and his wife has cooked him his favorite meal for dinner tonight – a spicy Chicken Alfredo. I imagine her response as he tells her about a meeting he had with his department manager today. This kind of mental exercise generates empathy and prepares me for the meeting ahead.
“John, thank you for your time. I won’t keep you long, but I want to let you know that I am concerned about your recent achievements…”
Note to self: good use of the word ‘achievements’ – I want John to feel empowered. I want to give him “the maximum amount of power to do a job as [he sees] fit; including both responsibility and accountability for work performed” (Shockley-Zalabak, 2009, p. 228). When he feels strong and appreciated, he’s more likely to take what I have to say as constructive, not destructive.
“John, you’ve been with Happy Tech for two years now, and we’ve done very well in those two years. We’ve grown nicely and we have a work environment that I know we all enjoy.”
This is good – it focuses on the positives and creates a sense of camaraderie.
“This is why I’ve called you in here today. I know you’re committed to your work and to making Happy Tech a company customers enjoy working with, so I was concerned about some recent reports.
I have a copy here of the agreement we signed when you first began here, and I’d like to review it with you. You’ll notice that you signed here where we list the monthly targets we thought you could achieve. Now, I know you haven’t been able to make those goals these past three months. Is this something you can fix by our next monthly review?”
Now, it’s time for me to take a breath. If he tries to justify himself or cast blame, let him speak, but don’t respond to the accusations. I need to listen to what he says, and respond appropriately if he brings up legitimate issues I can help him address. If he doesn’t bring up anything new, it’s time to continue…
“John, I’m concerned, because you’ve shown outstanding customer-service skills over the past two years, and your coworkers all appreciated the mischievous sense of humor you brought to our office, but these same people seem to have been offended by that sense of humor lately. I have watched your interactions in the office, and I have seen that you are quite competitive. Great! We love a strong sense of competition at Happy Tech – our competitiveness is how we stay the best – so please direct that energy towards helping our customers with their concerns.”
This works to help set an understanding between us, but it is a little vague… I “need to request specific changes, both in the action requested and in the amount of change desired” (Cahn, 2007, p. 101). If John can understand exactly what I require from him, he can work on achieving it.
“You know that Happy Tech has quite serious policies in place regarding employee dismissal. Neither of us wants this situation to go that far, but I am bound by the agreement we signed. You have a month now to prove you can reach those performance goals we set when you began with Happy Tech. I will be watching your progress carefully and I will be on the floor to see how you’re putting your competitiveness to good use. If you achieve your goals this month and we have no customer complaints, we’ll write this down as just another training exercise.
You are an important part of my team, John. I’d love to see all your energy channeled into reaching your goals. Don’t forget about the raise you can achieve by exceeding your targets for three months in a row.
Thank you for your time today, John. We’ll meet again this time next month to see how you’re going…”
Okay… I’m ready for this…
To my readers: how would you feel if you were John in this situation? How would you respond if your boss spoke to you like this?
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