Woman Eaten by Radioactive Pale Rider

Did I hook you? Are you interested in what I have to say?

I hope so, because I have a request:

I need to hear what you think about my blogging.



After a significant job offer this week, I'm looking at a future in professional blogging, and I NEED to know if I'm any good. I'm beyond worrying about my feelings, so don't be afraid of hurting them.

Are you interested in what I've been saying on this blog?

IF not, why not?

IF so, why so?

What have been the highlights and lowlights of the past three weeks of my blogging?

I'm begging you, seriously. If I could offer you a prize for posting your comment below, I would. In fact, I will... I have a number in mind, and if you are the (secret number)th commenter on this post, I will personally send you some genuine Australian candy.

Thank you. My future audience and I appreciate your assistance.

Mr. Smith, This is Your Hour

I often create imaginary scenarios in my mind. These things come from nowhere ~ I might hear a phrase on the radio and suddenly it becomes a fully-fledged story in my head, except there's rarely a good plot or resolution. I just 'see' a conversation in my mind's eye. When we got this week's assignment on conflict resolution, the same thing happened:

 “John, would you meet me in my office in ten minutes, please?”

I’m walking back to my office along polished hallways. John Smith has worked for the company for two years, and I imagine he has a darling wife at home and a baby, and his wife has cooked him his favorite meal for dinner tonight – a spicy Chicken Alfredo. I imagine her response as he tells her about a meeting he had with his department manager today. This kind of mental exercise generates empathy and prepares me for the meeting ahead.

“John, thank you for your time. I won’t keep you long, but I want to let you know that I am concerned about your recent achievements…”

Note to self: good use of the word ‘achievements’ – I want John to feel empowered. I want to give him “the maximum amount of power to do a job as [he sees] fit; including both responsibility and accountability for work performed” (Shockley-Zalabak, 2009, p. 228). When he feels strong and appreciated, he’s more likely to take what I have to say as constructive, not destructive.

“John, you’ve been with Happy Tech for two years now, and we’ve done very well in those two years. We’ve grown nicely and we have a work environment that I know we all enjoy.”

This is good – it focuses on the positives and creates a sense of camaraderie.

“This is why I’ve called you in here today. I know you’re committed to your work and to making Happy Tech a company customers enjoy working with, so I was concerned about some recent reports.

I have a copy here of the agreement we signed when you first began here, and I’d like to review it with you. You’ll notice that you signed here where we list the monthly targets we thought you could achieve. Now, I know you haven’t been able to make those goals these past three months. Is this something you can fix by our next monthly review?”

Now, it’s time for me to take a breath. If he tries to justify himself or cast blame, let him speak, but don’t respond to the accusations. I need to listen to what he says, and respond appropriately if he brings up legitimate issues I can help him address. If he doesn’t bring up anything new, it’s time to continue…

“John, I’m concerned, because you’ve shown outstanding customer-service skills over the past two years, and your coworkers all appreciated the mischievous sense of humor you brought to our office, but these same people seem to have been offended by that sense of humor lately. I have watched your interactions in the office, and I have seen that you are quite competitive. Great! We love a strong sense of competition at Happy Tech – our competitiveness is how we stay the best – so please direct that energy towards helping our customers with their concerns.”

This works to help set an understanding between us, but it is a little vague… I “need to request specific changes, both in the action requested and in the amount of change desired” (Cahn, 2007, p. 101). If John can understand exactly what I require from him, he can work on achieving it.

“You know that Happy Tech has quite serious policies in place regarding employee dismissal. Neither of us wants this situation to go that far, but I am bound by the agreement we signed. You have a month now to prove you can reach those performance goals we set when you began with Happy Tech. I will be watching your progress carefully and I will be on the floor to see how you’re putting your competitiveness to good use. If you achieve your goals this month and we have no customer complaints, we’ll write this down as just another training exercise.

You are an important part of my team, John. I’d love to see all your energy channeled into reaching your goals. Don’t forget about the raise you can achieve by exceeding your targets for three months in a row.

Thank you for your time today, John. We’ll meet again this time next month to see how you’re going…”

Okay… I’m ready for this…

To my readers: how would you feel if you were John in this situation? How would you respond if your boss spoke to you like this?

10 Steps to Completely Changing Your Personality

Have you ever wished you were someone else? Do you enjoy the excruciating bewilderment of not knowing how to interact with your environment? If you said yes, then immigration is the option for you! Below are ten quick tips to keep in mind when immigration – don’t worry, you’re already on your way to discovering a whole new you!

I. Everyone around you will see things differently to how you’re used to. None of your jokes will be funny and you’ll gasp uncomfortably at the things your new countrymen find hilarious.

II. Don’t touch anyone or anything until you’ve seen a local do it. It might be okay in your country to pat a child on the head, but in an Islamic country, this is the equivalent of stepping on a small puppy. Don’t do it.

III. People around you will either seem painfully indecisive or hazardously impetuous. Your feelings of confidence and direction will never be the same as you navigate the unspoken rules of decision-making in your new country.

IV. A 9 0’clock meeting may start at 8:45 or 11:22, depending on your new local time. It is a dreadful faux pas to be either too early or too late and you will likely be irritated either way, especially if you are trying to cater for the event.

V. Don’t worry if businessmen start standing so close you’re sure they can taste the sardines you had for breakfast; this is normal in some countries. Observe how closely others stand to one another and steer clear of individuals with terrible body odor.

VI. People never mean what they say. People always mean what they think you understand by the words they say. I might say, “Gosh, I feel cold,” but this could be a subtle hint that the air conditioning needs to be adjusted, or I could just be making small talk. Try to consider what the other person is implying, and if you can’t figure it out, ask someone.

VII. Body language is crucial. Imitate body language and learn to watch how others move and gesture. Some symbols and expressions will always mean the same things; learn how to use these appropriately.

VIII. People will not play by your rules. The words, “well, where I’m from...” are NEVER a justification for your actions. Enjoy sharing your culture and experience, but never expect that others will feel that same way you do about polite behavior or social mores.

IX. Learn the laws of the land. Obey them.

X. Don’t assume your new countrymen speak English. Don’t expect them to learn it.

Above all else, be patient with yourself. Immigration might be supremely easy for you, but this is not the normal situation. You’ll discover that you like things you never expected, and that some things really annoy you for no good reason. Find friends early who can help you transition into the new culture and accept that you will make mistakes. Hopefully, people will excuse your honest ignorance and come to understand more about their own culture through your eyes.

(Based loosely on my own experience and this article)

$5 Prize for Correct Guesses

WHAT are you reading?

It's a blog. Right?

Thank you for playing this game, if I guessed correctly, I win the prize!
Please send $5 to PO Box 888, SYDNEY Australia.

I am kidding, but in all seriousness, I am going to blog about blogs. This is my most hated blog topic, but let's get metaphysical.

Blogs fill the void between War and Peace and Archie Comics. Blogs are personal, so they make us feel connected in the metallic world of cyberspace, and they're instant, so they fulfill our need to have the latest information RIGHT NOW.

Blogs are also varied. If you've been watching this blog, you've already seen 3 of my favorite bloggers, and you've seen just how different these three are. Seth is a marketing guru, Nie Nie is a stay-at-home Mormon Mommy, and Monet is a baker with the soul of a poet with the soul of an artist with the soul of a baker.

Whatever your interest is, there is a blog to tell you what you want to know. But, like all the communications tools I've mentioned here, use blogs with caution. The benefit of a blog is that ANYONE can get published. The problem with blogs is that ANYONE can get published.

Would you listen to some guy on the street telling you the top ten best ways to make a million or fall in love? I hope not. Bloggers are like that random guy. The internet is deceptive because we can construct the image we would like to portray, whereas real life is more honest. A blog might look authoritative, but unless you know who the author is, or you know his/her professional affiliations, assume he is just another kid like you, sitting at his computer, spitting out the first idea he thinks of.

Don't take blog authors too seriously. Not even me.

Do Facial Expression Increase Attraction?

How do you feel when I say:

You are just the smartest person I ever met.

Now, imagine you can see me roll my eyes while I say that.

Now, imagine you can see my twirl my hair and bat my eyelashes while I say that.

Well, now you don't have ton wonder what my face is doing while I compliment you; welcome to Skype.
What difference does it make to my meaning when you can see my face? It makes ALL the difference. Expression is our physical cue to the other person, to explain to them how we intend for them to interpret our message. Our words include a message, but our expressions and tone are the keys to unlocking that message.

Skype is a simple program a computer user can install in their laptop, internet-capable phone, or desktop computer. All the user needs is a webcam, microphone, and speakers, and s/he can start using Skype. Of course, it also helps if the user has friends who are similarly connected to Skype, but that's a gamble we'll have to take.

Skype uses video and audio to conduct a face-to-face call between two users. These individuals can be separated by as many miles or oceans as they like; Skype (thanks to our god friend, the internet) can cross them all.

I have personally used Skype regularly since 2004 and I love it. I love that awkward feeling I get when I see an old friend for the first time in months or years and I feel the urge to hug them, but can't. I love that there's no way I can hide my surprise when she shares that she's finally decided to quit shaving her legs and move to a commune. I love seeing her tear up when we laugh hysterically about the good old days. Skype brings communication to life, including our awkward moments and our beautiful experiences.

Skype is a tool, just like any other, which helps communication, but it also presents unique challenges. Users have to find ways to work around the awkward moments when they aren't able to physically move or touch one another. We also have to be comfortable with seeing our own image reflected back to us on the screen.

For all the challenges it presents, Skype allows a deeper feeling of connection between communicators. Anything that increases feelings of love and connection in this world is worth using. I fully encourage Skype usage.

eBooks: The Way of the Future or a Step Backwards?

Raise your hand if you have purchased an eBook to help complete your online degree.

Now put it down real quick, before someone starts to wonder about your sanity. You look silly, but if you're smart, you have purchased an eBook at some point in your progress towards your B.A.

Why would you have purchased an eBook? Because they're:

• Convenient - eBooks can be purchased from anywhere by anyone. All you need is internet access, a credit card, and a device which reads eBooks (laptop/Kindle/iPhone/iPad/etc).
  

• Cost Effective - there are no printing costs involved in producing an eBook, there are no shipping costs, and (most importantly) the publisher doesn't have to worry about a pile of leftover books that might never sell. These three factors drive up the costs of traditional books and leave the market for eBooks wide open.
  

• Cool - one of the most popular, influential men in the world is a 26-year-old computer nerd. Technology is in and it's not going anywhere. The latest fad is to be totally online. eBooks are the new college cool.

Since the invention of the Amazon Kindle, almost every modern bestselling book has been digitized and sold as an eBook. This bodes well for adult literacy in the USA. Now, busy adults can always have a full library on hand. It is easier than ever to read quality literature.

However, what are eBooks doing to literature in general? Is this immediate-gratification version of reading turning books into just another consumable? Literature is taught at the most prestigious universities in Bachelors, Masters, and Doctorate programs, but classic texts are available for digestion while shoppers swipe coupons and buckle seat belts. 

I appreciate that eBooks have made reading more feasible for us all, just like recordable storybooks have made it easier for children to listen to their favorite tales, but I have to wonder: what is this doing to our appreciation of literature as an art form?

Would you view the Venus de Milo while clipping your nails or paying a bill? 

There is a necessary reverence we need to feel when we're interacting with great works of art. I fear that the disposability and convenience of eBooks is encouraging us to treat literature with less respect and attention than it deserves. eBooks achieve great things for communication, but there is also a cost: the easier it is to communicate, the less we value the interaction.

Are Storybooks the Easiest Way to Educate Your Children?

I'm taking a break from my top 5 bloggers to bring you this week's assignment:

Recordable Storybooks.

Imagine the setting: you're sitting by the fire, a glass of aromatic red wine in one hand, the latest NY Times bestseller. You're discovering that butler did NOT do it, but that it was... (Well, I can't ruin it for you, can I?)...

Where is your two-year-old?

He's resting quietly in bed, listening to his nightly story; but who's reading to him? It's a recordable storybook! Last week, you realized he only ever wants to hear Kiss Goodnight over and over, so you read it to him once, and let the book do the rest of the work. Now your voice is there, immortalized in those precious pages for him to hear... over and over... and over and over.

How wonderful is modern technology? You get to enjoy a few moments of guilt-free relaxation while your son gets his comforting story read to him by the person he loves most: you.

These books are perfect for all types of parents, whether they are in the next room or in another country. Parents who are in the military value the connection they can make with their children through these books. The child gets to hear their parent's voice and feel the closeness of their love, regardless of the distance between them.

The beauty of these books is the connections they establish: voices make us feel connected and close. These books also promote literary education. It's vital that young children get to see words as they hear them, but modern parents don't always have the time to sit and read to their children for long periods of time. Technology has helped bridged this gap between what we want to do and what we need to do.

Top Five Bloggers - #3

Whew! What a weekend, and to top it off, our internet is down at home. The beauty of living in Australia (and rural Australia) is that this issue will probably take weeks to fix, when it would have been done in hours if I were in the USA. Communication in the southern hemisphere certainly takes a little longer than my northern cousins are used to!

So, on to #3 of my top bloggers:

1. Seth Godin
2. Nie Nie (aka Stephanie Nielson)
3. Anecdotes and Apple Cores - cooking blog - http://anecdotesandapples.weebly.com/

No modern blog list is complete without a cooking blog. After the movie Julie & Julia, these blogs seemed to be everywhere. The trend started earlier, but cooking blogs became superfamous with the movie's release. There's something simple and beautiful about a cooking blog. Something so traditional and habitual is elevated into a delicate treasure. The role of a woman in the kitchen is celebrated and glorified, like it should be.

Not that all women love to cook. Or that men don't like to. But these blogs are written by women who love what they are doing, and those of us who share their delight get to revel in it, too.

I love Anecdotes and Apple Cores for several reasons:

• It shows foods which are actually tasty
• The recipes are normal enough that the ingredients can be found at my local, rural supermarket
• The photography is as tasteful as the dishes!
• Personal notes and tidbits are thoughtfully included, but they don't overwhelm the content
• The author is one of my college roommates (I'm a little biased!)

Enjoy :)

Top Five Bloggers - #2

It is late and I would love to skip this right now, but my latest resolution in life is to "go the last inch" (this is a quote my Dad has made his own, from a 'famous Russian author'). This idea of the last inch highlights the importance of finishing a job completely. Almost everyone does an 'okay' job and gets close to finishing and then quits. 


~ For example, leave a comment here if you tucked in your bedsheets this morning ~


I'm betting most of us just threw the comforter over the top and headed to work. The last inch is where things become extraordinary, but we rarely go all the way, because it seems like a lot of effort for such a minor detail.


So, the last inch of my night: The continuation of my Top 5 Bloggers...

1. Seth Godin
2. Nie Nie (aka Stephanie Nielson) - Personal/lifestyle blog - http://nieniedialogues.blogspot.com/

I'm sure most of you have seen Stephanie somewhere on the internet or Oprah; she's a mid-twenties mother of four who was in a serious plane (or helicopter?) crash a few years ago. 

I'm not sure why her blog is so popular, but it is something special. Stephanie shares her life in a transparent way, without being at all self-centered. She makes beautiful crafts and share her beautiful home and family with her readers, but nothing about her is conceited. 

Blogs like Stephanie's, written by young stay-at-home Mormon moms, are becoming very popular. There's a great article about the draw of these blogs here. This writer shares her addiction to Mormon Mommy Blogs, and I think she has some valid insights into the popularity of these blogs; however, I also think she misses the point. 

The point is that these women love to share what they have. Success in blogging, or in any form of communication, means sharing your thoughts without trying to impress or convince anyone. 

Bienvenue a la Blog...

I'm wondering if anyone else feels a little bit excited and a little bit nervous about this blog assignment. Blogs tend to be very personal places, but this blog is in the professional/education arena, so I wonder exactly where the line of appropriateness should be drawn.

So, for the first time, I'm really considering what the purpose is of the communication I'm using. There is no textbook to open and get answers from in this class, so I have to dig the answers out of my own education. Ironically, my questions are textbook questions, like, "Why am I blogging? What is the purpose of the things I'm sharing? What does my audience (YOU!) really want to hear about?" This class is forcing me to find a practical way to use all the theory I've been learning.

I adore John of Salisbury's idea that we stand on the shoulders of giants, so over the next few days, I'll include my favorite personal and professional bloggers, for your perusal and consideration. I figure this will give you some valuable blogs to read and a little insight into my tastes and inspiration.

As I've looked at these 'giants' of blogging, I have considered why each one is so successful and why I get so much value from reading their blogs. I have included my thoughts below each title in italics.

1. Seth Godin - Marketing/professional blog - http://sethgodin.typepad.com/

Seth is THE marketing guy. Seth is the guy every marketer refers to at dinner parties when trying to impress non-marketers. If you can't nod and sigh over the idea of a linchpin, a purple cow, and the dip, you're not in the marketing club.

There are three reasons I never miss any of Seth's posts: 

- I know he will post every day. His consistency gives me hope in a world full of inconsistent marketing promises.

- It counts as 'work,' so I don't feel guilty when my boss sees me reading his blog on company time.

- He's real. He gives real insights and he never posts a blog just to fill space. What he says matters to him, and so it matters to me.

Go ahead and leave me your thoughts about this assignment and the personal/professional lines to draw here. Do you feel comfortable disclosing personal details in a class assignment?

Also, what do you think of Seth?